Tuesday, December 28, 2004
The folks and the good old days
The highlight of today (one of the many), was having coffee with my dad. I haven't spent much time with him over the years, since being in Dunedin, and previously our relationship was mainly to do with school, results and money. So it was nice just hanging out with him. It's been good as I've "grown up" or shall I say maturing, our relationship has changed along with that. We are able to talk more about life, dreams, the things we value and so on. I've enjoyed that. One really good memory is of a night, a few years ago, when I was back in HK for Christmas. My dad and I were in the lounge singing old songs on the guitar. Everyone else was asleep, and we were in the dark with only christmas lights on. We were being really silly, laughing and singing. It always makes me smile.
It's funny thinking of parents as people. People who have friends, a childhood, their own parents and siblings, who went to school and experienced growing up - living a life from what we know. I really would like to know them in that way; the way other people see them. Also how they grew up and the influence of their histories and experiences in different cultures/environments on who they are now. Just thinking of my grandparents who were in the wars and experienced hardships we never could even think of is amazing. Do we really know what it's like to be hungry, to be running for our lives, to lack even the basic necessities of life like water and shelter? The things we take for granted. Personally it's been a struggle dealing with feelings of frustration and impatience because of my ignorance. God, help me to understand and see you people through your eyes. To love them for who they are and not through my own selfish perspective.
The other highlight was watching Oceans 12 at the Embassy (love those bathrooms) with a bunch of people (Sam, Becs, Maria, Jared, Matt&Lou, Lawrence, Sunshine, Reuben, Jackie, Amanda and Will). Would probably pick up a lot more the next time I see it. Nevertheless an enjoyable night.
It's funny thinking of parents as people. People who have friends, a childhood, their own parents and siblings, who went to school and experienced growing up - living a life from what we know. I really would like to know them in that way; the way other people see them. Also how they grew up and the influence of their histories and experiences in different cultures/environments on who they are now. Just thinking of my grandparents who were in the wars and experienced hardships we never could even think of is amazing. Do we really know what it's like to be hungry, to be running for our lives, to lack even the basic necessities of life like water and shelter? The things we take for granted. Personally it's been a struggle dealing with feelings of frustration and impatience because of my ignorance. God, help me to understand and see you people through your eyes. To love them for who they are and not through my own selfish perspective.
The other highlight was watching Oceans 12 at the Embassy (love those bathrooms) with a bunch of people (Sam, Becs, Maria, Jared, Matt&Lou, Lawrence, Sunshine, Reuben, Jackie, Amanda and Will). Would probably pick up a lot more the next time I see it. Nevertheless an enjoyable night.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Mi tiempo
The other day I just needed some time alone. So I went and sat/lay outside the Beehive and finished reading RoTK. It was such a beautiful day, nearly forgot what it was like to be under the sun - ahh reminds me of the days in Fiji :)
I'm constantly reminded of the importance of having time out and being on your own. That's something I have to prioritise in my life - my cave time! I need to think and be in a place where I'm not questioned, a place where I don't feel the expectations (perceived or real). Don't get me wrong, I love being around people, especially close friends and family. But I know I do need to be in those quiet places, where I can quiet my spirit to listen to what God's saying. So many times I get so busy with "stuff" and it crowds out His voice. So God, lead me by still waters, restore my soul, in you alone I place my trust and hope.
I'm constantly reminded of the importance of having time out and being on your own. That's something I have to prioritise in my life - my cave time! I need to think and be in a place where I'm not questioned, a place where I don't feel the expectations (perceived or real). Don't get me wrong, I love being around people, especially close friends and family. But I know I do need to be in those quiet places, where I can quiet my spirit to listen to what God's saying. So many times I get so busy with "stuff" and it crowds out His voice. So God, lead me by still waters, restore my soul, in you alone I place my trust and hope.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Small talk, intellectual conversations & personal interests
This was the development of my relationship with this guy I was recently working with. The monotonous job of sticking labels to leaflets contributed greatly to this progression. I shall explain:
Day 1: Small talk
When you meet someone for the first time, things are slightly awkward. You don't know where you stand with them and the unknown is always a scary thing. Initial questions always include what is you name, what do you do and where are you from. Now the platform on which you can develop your impression and understanding of the other person, allows further probing in the form of generalised topics. Student? Studies? Summer? New Year plans? One particularly observant question on my behalf was, "Do you play an instrument? I noticed you are left-handed and more left-handed people are arty and creative" to which he answered no. But he did say that if he were to play and instrument he would play the piano. Note taken. He scored double points when he asked me if I was Malaysian. I was rather taken back, how did he know?! Was it just a very lucky guess? He answered, he did know (?) and he did guess. Interestingly, he had been on an exchange to Malaysia a few years ago and travelled around the place for a year. A very educated guess I suppose, then. The conversation moved on to family, general studies and tentative future plans.
End of day one.
Day 2: Intellectual Conversations
Fortunately for us, there was a weekend inbetween these days. God only knows that we wouldn't have been able to keep going with the labelling for that long! Our talk started politely, how was your weekend. Which I mentioned I found a friend ("Maria, I just met a girl named Maria") , went to church and did some gardening. He picked up on the church and mentioned his friend used to go to Elim and that he infact had gone along once before. Interesting. However, the conversation did not continue this path. During some rather long periods of silence with just the sound of sticking and opening of leaflets, other issues were raised: the importance of historical events (he is a history major) and how the records and accounts from those periods affect our perception of those times, family lines and generational backgrounds, more politically- the political instability of Iraq and their "democracy" (incidentally at the same time, the radio news reported terrorists gunning down some of the official electorates), the role of America as a superpower, the rising presence of China in the global community... and so on. Those POLS papers helped me out there. An interesting analogy he made was in referral to the US power and how they were like a 30-year old man playing with 5-year olds. If they played with someone their own size, what would the outcome be? Maybe like the wars in Korea and Vietnam.
Religion, politics... a few of the taboo subjects at the dinner table.
Day 3: Personal interests
The last day. He opened the conversation for today incredibly politely - did you sleep well last nite? This quickly moved on to his passion for cooking, as he made a meal the previous nite of steak marinated in red wine, asparagus and mixed vegetables, and stuffed potatoes (tomato, curry powder and something else tasty) grilled with cheese. Sounds pretty good to me. By this time we were very bored of sticking and were becoming anxious about finishing. We can do it! Thus the conversation was light and topics featured were to do with film (Team America), travel (our desire for it, mainly Europe, Asia and big cities), cultures (European), languages (his French, mine Chinese and Spanish), education (his a private international boys school in the hutt, mine an ESF international school in HK) and holiday plans. Occasionally the opinions rose, especially concerning the transportation system in Auckland, harbourside development in Wellington and the general appeal of NZ.
Finally, 4:45pm. We have completed all the sticking required of us! Yeah, I don’t think we could have come back another day. What would we talk about? Sadly, we only get paid after the newyear.
All in all it was an interesting few days, with thought provoking ideas and discussion outbursts. I probably will never see this guy again, although as we parted, there was no goodbye, only a see you around. And so, with great humbling, I take back my melon comment from the previous blog. No to melons. I have learnt that you must allow for at least three days, doing some monotonous laborious, mind-numbing job to be able to get to know someone.
Sticky labels anyone?
Day 1: Small talk
When you meet someone for the first time, things are slightly awkward. You don't know where you stand with them and the unknown is always a scary thing. Initial questions always include what is you name, what do you do and where are you from. Now the platform on which you can develop your impression and understanding of the other person, allows further probing in the form of generalised topics. Student? Studies? Summer? New Year plans? One particularly observant question on my behalf was, "Do you play an instrument? I noticed you are left-handed and more left-handed people are arty and creative" to which he answered no. But he did say that if he were to play and instrument he would play the piano. Note taken. He scored double points when he asked me if I was Malaysian. I was rather taken back, how did he know?! Was it just a very lucky guess? He answered, he did know (?) and he did guess. Interestingly, he had been on an exchange to Malaysia a few years ago and travelled around the place for a year. A very educated guess I suppose, then. The conversation moved on to family, general studies and tentative future plans.
End of day one.
Day 2: Intellectual Conversations
Fortunately for us, there was a weekend inbetween these days. God only knows that we wouldn't have been able to keep going with the labelling for that long! Our talk started politely, how was your weekend. Which I mentioned I found a friend ("Maria, I just met a girl named Maria") , went to church and did some gardening. He picked up on the church and mentioned his friend used to go to Elim and that he infact had gone along once before. Interesting. However, the conversation did not continue this path. During some rather long periods of silence with just the sound of sticking and opening of leaflets, other issues were raised: the importance of historical events (he is a history major) and how the records and accounts from those periods affect our perception of those times, family lines and generational backgrounds, more politically- the political instability of Iraq and their "democracy" (incidentally at the same time, the radio news reported terrorists gunning down some of the official electorates), the role of America as a superpower, the rising presence of China in the global community... and so on. Those POLS papers helped me out there. An interesting analogy he made was in referral to the US power and how they were like a 30-year old man playing with 5-year olds. If they played with someone their own size, what would the outcome be? Maybe like the wars in Korea and Vietnam.
Religion, politics... a few of the taboo subjects at the dinner table.
Day 3: Personal interests
The last day. He opened the conversation for today incredibly politely - did you sleep well last nite? This quickly moved on to his passion for cooking, as he made a meal the previous nite of steak marinated in red wine, asparagus and mixed vegetables, and stuffed potatoes (tomato, curry powder and something else tasty) grilled with cheese. Sounds pretty good to me. By this time we were very bored of sticking and were becoming anxious about finishing. We can do it! Thus the conversation was light and topics featured were to do with film (Team America), travel (our desire for it, mainly Europe, Asia and big cities), cultures (European), languages (his French, mine Chinese and Spanish), education (his a private international boys school in the hutt, mine an ESF international school in HK) and holiday plans. Occasionally the opinions rose, especially concerning the transportation system in Auckland, harbourside development in Wellington and the general appeal of NZ.
Finally, 4:45pm. We have completed all the sticking required of us! Yeah, I don’t think we could have come back another day. What would we talk about? Sadly, we only get paid after the newyear.
All in all it was an interesting few days, with thought provoking ideas and discussion outbursts. I probably will never see this guy again, although as we parted, there was no goodbye, only a see you around. And so, with great humbling, I take back my melon comment from the previous blog. No to melons. I have learnt that you must allow for at least three days, doing some monotonous laborious, mind-numbing job to be able to get to know someone.
Sticky labels anyone?
Sunday, December 19, 2004
I'm green
Wellington. I'm still here. I love this place - absolutely, positively. Although you seriously need some friends here or something to do. Don't get me wrong or anything, I love my family and relatives, but sometimes you just need to step outside for a breather!
And since being here, I've watched more TV in a week than I have in the past year! All this cooped up inside-ness drove me outside... into the garden! Seriously I'm not one of those gardening types. DO you know what's out there? Spiders, bugs, worms and all sorts of yucky creepy crawlies... eww they just gross me out. But I was brave. Oh so brave. I ventured out with my sunnies and gloves (thank goodness my gran gave me a pair to wear!) and worked hard!! I'm a good girl. :) and yes, there were big black hairy ugly spiders (and little ones too) slimy worms and other unknown insectile species. After 2hrs, yes 2 solid hours I filled 7 big black rubbish bags of weeds and leaves and other stuff. Rather satisfying, but now I'm paying for it - my poor back. Getting rather ambitious in my old age haa
Anyway, yesterday was pretty good - I had a friend and Maria was her name-o. It was good to catch up with her. It felt like ages since I'd talked to her, even though she only left Dunedin midyear. She seems to be doing well here, job, friends, fun. So that gives me hope for when I move on. sigh...
well at least it's only a few more days till Sam comes - yeah fun. Just have to get through the next couple of days at this job I'm doing. Sticking labels on leaflets... all 8000 of them! lots of fun. I guess it's a good time to "think" especially since other guy is not much of a conversationalist. booo... I even tried out some of our questions on him and made more up! oh well, guess we're just different flavours. I think I'm a sort of a coffee, mocha, cappacino sort... he might be a melon. ha that's mean, don't read into that too much.
ok I think I just better go. some kid is demanding my attention. Kids, can't live with them. Can live without them!
And since being here, I've watched more TV in a week than I have in the past year! All this cooped up inside-ness drove me outside... into the garden! Seriously I'm not one of those gardening types. DO you know what's out there? Spiders, bugs, worms and all sorts of yucky creepy crawlies... eww they just gross me out. But I was brave. Oh so brave. I ventured out with my sunnies and gloves (thank goodness my gran gave me a pair to wear!) and worked hard!! I'm a good girl. :) and yes, there were big black hairy ugly spiders (and little ones too) slimy worms and other unknown insectile species. After 2hrs, yes 2 solid hours I filled 7 big black rubbish bags of weeds and leaves and other stuff. Rather satisfying, but now I'm paying for it - my poor back. Getting rather ambitious in my old age haa
Anyway, yesterday was pretty good - I had a friend and Maria was her name-o. It was good to catch up with her. It felt like ages since I'd talked to her, even though she only left Dunedin midyear. She seems to be doing well here, job, friends, fun. So that gives me hope for when I move on. sigh...
well at least it's only a few more days till Sam comes - yeah fun. Just have to get through the next couple of days at this job I'm doing. Sticking labels on leaflets... all 8000 of them! lots of fun. I guess it's a good time to "think" especially since other guy is not much of a conversationalist. booo... I even tried out some of our questions on him and made more up! oh well, guess we're just different flavours. I think I'm a sort of a coffee, mocha, cappacino sort... he might be a melon. ha that's mean, don't read into that too much.
ok I think I just better go. some kid is demanding my attention. Kids, can't live with them. Can live without them!
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
God's grace
Why does it always have to be this way?
I'm sick and tired of it being the same
All my feelings of hurt and pain
These feelings still remain
I know you love me Lord
You've told me before
But when I call your name
All I see is my shame
And in those times I can't even look at your face
It's hard to believe the promise of your grace
Why should I continue to be like this?
So lifeless and empty, in the dark
Because I know that you Lord
Promise me a new life each day
I know you love me Lord
Please say it again
So when I call your name
I can lay down my shame
And all those promises you've given to me
I can keep them safe and close to me
I'm sick and tired of it being the same
All my feelings of hurt and pain
These feelings still remain
I know you love me Lord
You've told me before
But when I call your name
All I see is my shame
And in those times I can't even look at your face
It's hard to believe the promise of your grace
Why should I continue to be like this?
So lifeless and empty, in the dark
Because I know that you Lord
Promise me a new life each day
I know you love me Lord
Please say it again
So when I call your name
I can lay down my shame
And all those promises you've given to me
I can keep them safe and close to me
Monday, December 13, 2004
Hello, I am a graduate. How are you?
It's finally come and gone. The long awaited day when we get to dress up in frumpish (is that even a word?) clothes, that ridiculous trencher and get to sit through a ceremony listening to monotonous voices calling out lists of names of people you don't know and probably never will, has past. Graduation.
Although it was a rather fun day! God was so good to us by stopping the rain while we took photos and paraded down George St. That was the best part - walking down the street. Especially seeing people waving and familiar faces smiling at everyone. No, no they were looking at me!!
One thing I definately enjoyed this weekend was having my parents meet all my amazing friends and gaining a little insight as to my life down here. Particularly to honour the ones who have had such an influence in my life, which pretty much is all of you. I know they have enjoyed it too and realise what a huge part of my life these past four years in Dunedin has been.
mehhh... I'm leaving. An era has past.
Saying goodbye to Abbey yesterday was hard. I knew I had to be the stronger one and not be all emotional at the airport and not drag the "goodbye" out. She knew that too. We had talked about it heaps on our travels. We've spent the last 3 weeks together, I think only having 3 nights apart. As soon as I got to the car I couldn't hold back. I knew I was going to cry and so what better time to! Funny how rainy days makes it easier to cry - blurring the trees and cars outside as we drove by. Dunedin's been good for that in the past few days. And you know how people talk about their hearts hurting? I do. Mine hurt. Brendan was good just to let me cry and not say anything. Thank goodness for the "I love NZ summer tour 2004" CD we had in the car!! There could have been a lot of awkward silences, broken only by my snotty sniffling. ha
I had to quickly clean myself up and be presentable to go out for dinner that night. And I was totally fine, until I received a text from Sam, asking how I was doing. The tears welled up again, but I had to quickly regain composure, I wasn't going to start crying at the dinner table. oh no you can't do that.
The night went well regardless. And ended on a very good note by us watching the extended version of Return of the King! It was soo good. Although now I'm rather sleep deprived - I am going to go have my last Fix today.
We're off to Christchurch tomorrow and then Wellington and eventually Hong Kong. I know God's got my future in His hands. He has sorted it out, every little bit. So I will just have to trust Him.
Keep the faith
Although it was a rather fun day! God was so good to us by stopping the rain while we took photos and paraded down George St. That was the best part - walking down the street. Especially seeing people waving and familiar faces smiling at everyone. No, no they were looking at me!!
One thing I definately enjoyed this weekend was having my parents meet all my amazing friends and gaining a little insight as to my life down here. Particularly to honour the ones who have had such an influence in my life, which pretty much is all of you. I know they have enjoyed it too and realise what a huge part of my life these past four years in Dunedin has been.
mehhh... I'm leaving. An era has past.
Saying goodbye to Abbey yesterday was hard. I knew I had to be the stronger one and not be all emotional at the airport and not drag the "goodbye" out. She knew that too. We had talked about it heaps on our travels. We've spent the last 3 weeks together, I think only having 3 nights apart. As soon as I got to the car I couldn't hold back. I knew I was going to cry and so what better time to! Funny how rainy days makes it easier to cry - blurring the trees and cars outside as we drove by. Dunedin's been good for that in the past few days. And you know how people talk about their hearts hurting? I do. Mine hurt. Brendan was good just to let me cry and not say anything. Thank goodness for the "I love NZ summer tour 2004" CD we had in the car!! There could have been a lot of awkward silences, broken only by my snotty sniffling. ha
I had to quickly clean myself up and be presentable to go out for dinner that night. And I was totally fine, until I received a text from Sam, asking how I was doing. The tears welled up again, but I had to quickly regain composure, I wasn't going to start crying at the dinner table. oh no you can't do that.
The night went well regardless. And ended on a very good note by us watching the extended version of Return of the King! It was soo good. Although now I'm rather sleep deprived - I am going to go have my last Fix today.
We're off to Christchurch tomorrow and then Wellington and eventually Hong Kong. I know God's got my future in His hands. He has sorted it out, every little bit. So I will just have to trust Him.
Keep the faith
